


A Little Danger Goes A Long Way

by TheCobraOfHell



Series: A Little Danger [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9225956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCobraOfHell/pseuds/TheCobraOfHell
Summary: Saeran is on his way to recovery, eating three meals a day, taking walks when he can, and even going to therapy every week. However, to get to the next step in his recovery, he can't be afraid, he can't let the dangerous parts of recovery stop him. After all, a little danger goes a long way. (Fluffy!YooRan)





	

How ironic was it that the most dangerous man of the RFA was afraid to take chances? Extremely. That is your answer. Extremely ironic.

Saeran sat stiff and uncomfortable in the plush chair, surrounded by a warm air of welcoming emotion that all but eased him, in fact, probably suffocated him. Picking at his worn nails, he was staring at the carpet as the woman in front of him droned on about… something. It was hard to tune in on, especially since he wasn’t invested. 

“Saeran, please. You are zoning out again, come back, let’s reel this in. Things were going so well before, don’t you think so?”

Her tone had changed, and honestly, that was the only reason Saeran actually responded. “Yeah.”

His therapist sits forward a little (likely tuned in on the slight change of his attitude) and softened her tone. “I remember way back then, Saeran. Two years ago- you said you were ‘a lost cause’. You didn’t want to eat, sleep, speak, not even to your brother. But look at you now. Look at how far you’ve come!” She smiles sweetly at him, patting his knee awkwardly, but the gesture was somehow endearing. “You’re eating three meals a day- you’re spending time with your brother. You take walks every day- you have some friends too! And I am so proud of you!”

But…

“But…” There was always a but. Saeran recoiled, legs tightening up to his chest and gaze averting again. “You seemed so- distant suddenly. Have you noticed that at all?”

Saeran can only muster a shrug, even though he knew she wouldn’t accept it. This was all oddly nostalgic, but not in a good way. Like way back two years ago, when they started these sessions, and Saeran could only think of all the things she was JUDGING him on. She knew everything, and he knew nothing, and the only thing he was damn sure going to give her was a turned up nose and annoyed grunt. 

Well, at least he stopped grunting. 

“Have you noticed that, Saeran?” She repeats, tilting her head and genuine concern in the way her expression twists. 

And Saeran pauses again. It’s hard to answer truthfully, a part of him feels like he’s right back where he started. “I guess, yeah…”

His therapist leans away again and sits back in her chair, still looking at Saeran with that quizzical look, as if wondering what he was thinking. She already knew everything about him, though, why did she have to wonder? Suddenly, she moves and withdraws a paper from one of her files, skimming over the contents briefly. “You said- before that there was a boy you were close to. Yoosung. Tell me about him. He’s one of your friends, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” The word rolls off Saeran’s tongue without much difficulty. That usually happened when the topic concerned either Seven or Yoosung- since he was only really comfortable around those two. “Seven introduced us before. We mostly bonded through his game though, even though I am not that good at it.” It’s easier to talk to her now, especially when he thinks of the fond past he had with Yoosung. “We would sleep over a lot, like we were kids. Way back then it was really easy to find something to talk about- an opinion on something…”

“Way back then, wasn’t that only a year and a half ago?” She muses sweetly, and it brings a bit of laughter deep from Saeran’s chest. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right!” This was one of the few parts of therapy he liked, when they talked about the nice things. “Anyway- I guess he’s one of the few people I’d consider a close friend. Besides Seven, he was the only guy I trusted with my innermost thoughts and feelings- even those that I couldn’t tell Seven. I really trusted him…”

Suddenly, his therapist looks a little sad, brow knitted up and leaning forward, lending him her ear. She pauses, lips pursed and gaze thoughtful, and then asks, “You are using past tense, Saeran. What happened?”

His eyes widened, suddenly backed into a corner. He hadn’t even noticed he was using past tense. What was he supposed to say? What did happen anyway? Saeran had to stop for a moment, rubbing his chin, wondering- what happened? It was true, they weren’t as close now, but half of that was Yoosung going on for his graduate classes. And Saeran was trying to help Seven with his shop- they were just busy. And then there was… a couple weeks ago. 

~

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

The words floated in the air, clogging it with a tensity that Saeran could sense yet not quite pinpoint for a long time. Sitting in front of his old tv, watching reruns of their comedic high school drama, things were as it should be, calm and familiar. But those words- they brought something with them- something that scared Saeran. 

“You what?”

Yoosung laughs, blushing slightly and trying not to stare too intensely at Saeran. “When Jun said that to Hyeon, that way she looked at him- I realized it. I feel the same way about you. So, I thought I’d say it…”

A part of him wanted to slap Yoosung’s shoulder and tell him he was silly, but the words somehow punctured him, made it hard to breathe, made him- petrified. 

When Saeran doesn’t say anything, Yoosung notices quickly. “Hey, are you okay? I- oh god. You don’t…” He shuffles away slightly, and for some reason, it hurts Saeran’s chest to see him like that. “You don’t feel the same way…”

Saeran’s throat tightens in a way he didn’t think he’d remember, not since Mint Eye. And why- why did this hurt so much? “No, I… I…”

“I’m sorry!” Yoosung apologizes before he can find the words again, getting to his feet and turning away, head in his hands and shoulders sagging. “I thought- god, I’m so sorry. I’ve just made things worse, haven’t I?!”

Saeran wishes, suddenly, that he had said something else, something more, but the more he thinks of what he wants to say, the more he comes up empty handed. “You don’t- I’m not- we…” It all ends in choked breath, and eventually, he says nothing at all. 

Yoosung waits for a while, seeing if something, anything will happen, and when it doesn’t, he accepts his defeat. “I have to go- there’s a project I haven’t started. I’ll- I’ll talk to you later, Saeran…”

~

Ever since that day, they had talked, of course they wouldn’t cease communicating, but everything they said was tight-lipped, weak, somehow holding that little bit of regret. Saeran tells the story as honest as he can, perhaps withholding the parts that ached him most, but she got the drift. 

Their time is almost up- Saeran knows it, she knows it, it’s an unspoken acknowledgement. A part of her looks sad, yet another part seems almost triumphant. When she sets down her pad and gets to her feet, she extends a hand to Saeran. “I think we had a good day today, Saeran. But, there is something I want to tell you.”

He gets up, and they walk out into the lobby, almost empty with how early in the morning it is. “Recovery is dangerous, it always is. You get set in that rhythm, that familiarity of a habit or an emotion that doesn’t want to lose it’s grip on you. And sometimes- recovery doesn’t even work the first, second, or even third time…” She sets a hand on his shoulder when she notices him drifting again, and punctuates. “But, Saeran, a little danger goes a long way. You can be afraid, you can be even terrified- but just do a little bit, you may be surprised what happens. Take that risk for recovery.”

Saeran nods and leaves, soon rolling his eyes. She always had to say something profound after every visit, he wonder if she got it from a fortune cookie. Still, he wonders, what did she mean. A little danger goes a long way?

 

“Hello, can I be connected to Ms. Kim’s nurse?” 

“Yes, of course, hold on one moment.” The receptionist was nice, as usual, but that didn’t make talking on the phone any better. Saeran hated talking over the phone, he always thought he sounded so much more stupid and he couldn’t tell what the other person was thinking. 

“Good morning! This is Ms. Kim’s nurse, how can I help you?”

Saeran chokes briefly, the lump in his throat growing before he can even speak, and by then it sounds like a croak. “Hi, this is Saeran Choi. I have an appointment at seven, but I won’t be able to make it…”

The man on the other end pauses and then asks, “Oh, alright, did you want to reschedule for next week then?”

“Yeah, sure.” Saeran writes down the date just to remember, even though it’s the same day and time as usual. 

“Thanks for calling in and telling us- you have a wonderful day!”

It was rare for Saeran to cancel an appointment, but there was always a reason, and at least Ms. Kim understood it well enough. Besides, after a bombshell like that from last time- he just couldn’t bare to go in and tell her he had no idea what she meant by danger. 

Then again, that was also a lie. 

Saeran slumped back in his bed, having not even moved since he woke up an hour ago. Honestly, he had thought about what she said the entire week, and he had an idea of what she was pressing him to do. Yet, every time he opened up a new text and started typing something, anything, to Yoosung, his courage would die in that last second and he’d throw his phone off to the side, abandoning the idea for at least the rest of the night. 

And here he was again, opening his phone and staring at Yoosung’s name. What was so dangerous about it anyway? Why was he so fucking scared to even bring that subject back up? And would he ever find out? 

All while contemplating this, he clicked on what he thought was the text option and only ended up scrambling when he realized he was accidentally calling Yoosung.  
“Hello, Saeran?” The voice on the other end shocks him and stops his heart, and Saeran swears that he might have yelped into the speaker. 

“O-oh, Yoosung. You actually picked up…”

“What? Of course I did.” He says back incredulously, not even sounding tired despite the time. 

Saeran gulps and toys with the sheets as he sucks in a deep breath. “Uhm- I’m sorry about calling so early…” 

Yoosung pauses, the sound of rustling fabric in the background, and he seems to yawn slightly. “Oh, it’s no problem. I was actually thinking about calling you too- wait, aren’t you supposed to be at an appointment right now?”

It’s a smaller detail of his every day life, something that he hadn’t expected Yoosung to remember let alone care about. Yet here he was, knowing that Saeran should be at an appointment and a little worried that he isn’t. Saeran’s cheeks heat up. 

“I had to cancel it, but I got it re-scheduled…”

“Oh, cool! Well, as long as you are okay that is. Why’d you have to cancel?”

Saeran sighs and gulps, trying to calm his rampant heart (and he’s still wondering why it’s freaking out so badly, dammit) as his courage begins to dissipate. His pause lingers a bit too long, prompting Yoosung to call out to him curiously, wondering if they lost connection. “Uhm, no, I’m still here…” Saeran pauses again, swallowing again despite his mouth being dry. “Well- I had remembered that it was your last day of your winter break and- well- I wanted to know if you’d like to hang out or something- like that…”

Oh god, someone shoot him now. Please, someone-

“Really?! Hell yeah, I’d love to hang out! Hold on, I’ll hop on the train and head over your way!”

Saeran’s breath hitches, and he can’t help himself from stuttering, “Y-Yeah? Oh-okay, I’ll meet you down there soon…”

When they hang up, and the still rapid breath and hard pounding of his heart continues, Saeran has to bury his head into his pillow and groan to release the tension. God he hated phone calls. 

 

The only thing he’s aware of for the longest time is the rapid tapping of his foot on the concrete and the harsh fog that ruins his vision with every puff of breath he gives, and that’s enough to tide Saeran over and make him think of something else for a while. He was early, way too early, and the cold was nipping at his ears and nose- but the warmth coiled in his chest is helping him along. 

When the subway finally approaches the dock, Saeran, a bit too enthusiastically, hops on. It’s not any warmer than the station itself, but it shields him better for the wind and that’s what really matters. 

“Hey- what’d I tell you about wearing earmuffs?!” The scolding comes in that familiar tone, and Saeran whips around to find Yoosung weeding through the people to approach him, the perk of his cheeks revealing that he’s smiling despite the scarf hiding his lips (and why the fuck is Saeran suddenly thinking about his lips?). 

Saeran summons a scoff, trying to remain casual when Yoosung pulls him into a tight embrace (he’s the hugging kind of guy, of course). “They look stupid, I’d rather suffer.” 

“Bet they’d look cute on you.”

It’s a simple statement really, but the way his warm breath fans over his ear, the tone so genuine and sweet, and those glowing violet eyes peering at him as he pulls away, all makes Saeran’s cheeks rosy from something other than the cold. 

Yoosung lets the comment float in the air and relaxes beside Saeran, sighing and trying to ease himself despite the cold. “Besides, what if your ears fall off? You wouldn’t be able to hear anything…”

“Yeah? Then maybe I wouldn’t have to listen to your nagging all the time.”

When Yoosung giggles, Saeran finally realizes that things had finally fallen back into place. Back to their old routine, Yoosung riding the subway to Saeyoung’s place, meeting with Saeran and chatting until they get back to Yoosung’s on the route back, indulging in multi-missions on LOLOL while eating shitty food, finally pulling away to watch a movie that they had planned on, and then the two of them taking the subway back and departing with a hug. 

Those were good times. 

For some reason though, the thought of things being back like that makes Saeran’s stomach drop. It’s frightening, not knowing why he feels a certain way, not even knowing exactly what he’s feeling. It’s scary, different, and dangerous. 

And he didn’t like it. 

 

The two boys nearly sprint from the station back to Yoosung’s flat, slamming the door shut with an exaggerated sigh of relief. Once Yoosung pulls himself away from the door, he’s instantly trying to pick up scattered wrappers and dirty clothes lying around, excusing it for the finals he had been studying for before his break started. 

Saeran doesn’t really give a shit, in all honesty, and starts shedding his outerwear while Yoosung continues to clean up. When he’s down to his turtleneck, Saeran sits down on the same old couch, somewhat missing it (and there is the stain from when they invited Seven over as well and he spilled an entire thing of Phd. Pepper) despite it’s discomfort. Unlike past times, however, Saeran holds a particular type of numbness and awkward air as he waits for Yoosung to finish cleaning.

He passed the time by looking around the small apartment. Nothing had really changed at all, hell, he swore that the out of place chair by the window was still from when Yoosung was hanging Halloween decorations. That was when he noticed a picture frame on his desk. 

Glancing back at Yoosung, who was now trying to rapidly clean dishes in case they wanted to eat something, Saeran gets up to examine it. It’s a picture of the two of them, Yoosung having an arm slung around Saeran’s shoulder with this wide, excited grin, all while Saeran is looking away from the camera, almost glaring at something off to the side, but he has the hint of a small grin in place. Saeran instantly remembers when this picture was taken- around the time when he and Yoosung were first hanging out, over the summer, when Yoosung had invited him to go to a convention. It was only from the harsh probing of his brother that actually made him go, but he found out quickly that he didn’t regret it. 

He had a nice time. 

“You framed this picture…” He says out loud, his sudden voice brought Yoosung to turn off the water and come to his side, muttering a quiet ‘what’ as he approached. Saeran pointed to the picture, voice a bit thicker as he repeated, “You framed this picture- from a year ago? Why? It’s so old…”

Yoosung’s brow gives a confused arch, and he shrugs his shoulders while he dries his hands. “Well, I always like to keep photographs of important times in my life, and I just really wanted to frame this one, it turned out nice.”

“Important times in your life?”

Yoosung nods, but becomes visibly hesitant as he murmurs, “That’s when we really started becoming friends…”

There it was again: that rapid breath, heavy heart, burning cheeks, suddenly tight stomach. Saeran swallows and looks away, unsure of what to say to that, and settles for giving a minor nod. Yoosung doesn’t seem offended by the lack of words as he sets the picture back in its rightful place, attention trained on finishing the dishes once again. 

So Saeran falls back into his position on the couch again, playing with his fingers as he thinks over what Yoosung said. That was an important time in his life. Becoming his friend. And their favorite drama- their go-to show when they’re too bored to think of anything else to watch. 

I think I’m in love with you.

Jun thought of him no matter what she was doing. She’d cook food and save some, just in case he’d like any. She’d go out of her way to get little things for him, especially if his day was going badly. And Hyeon would do the same, getting up in the wee hours of the morning just to make sure she woke up to a ‘good morning, beautiful!’ text. He’d stay up until late in the night just talking with her until he fell asleep with his phone on his chest. 

I think I’m in love with you. 

Saeran shipped them together so hard, insisted they belonged together, but it was only in their season finale that they finally confessed their love to each other. ‘Why do you do all these things for me?’ ‘No, why do you do all these things for me?’. Saeran tensed up, staring at the screen, unknowingly being watched by an amused Yoosung as he murmured under his breath, “It’s because you love each other…”

I think I’m in love with you.

“Hyeon…” Jun just about whimpered, pursing her lips and gripping her books tight against her chest. “I- I think I’m in love with you.”

“Fucking finally!” Saeran cheered, jumping to his feet with clenched fists of victory, giving cute little dips as he celebrated to himself. 

Yoosung stared, a wide grin spread across his face and fondness for Saeran devouring him like a comfortable warmth. That was when it hit him, like a wave of realization, and Yoosung knew that this was almost like a drama in real life. He always thought about him- woke up in the wee hours of the morning just to text him, “Hey, eat anything yet?”, and every Friday morning, “Heading out to your appointment soon?”. He’d stay up until way past midnight despite it being a school night, their conversations drifting from LOLOL, to animals, to space, to the future and back. He’d make food for himself and wonder if Saeran would like any the next time he’d visit. He’d brew up his special, expensive coffee when he knew Saeran was having a bad day, maybe even make it into a latte and draw out a cute design in the foam if he could. 

Saeran didn’t know, of course he didn’t know, he couldn’t have. All while he gushed over Jun and Hyeon’s confirmed relationship, Yoosung was staring at him, heart pounding, breath catching, falling further and further in love with him. 

Yoosung threw the towel over the chair still sitting by the window, marveling in how quickly his fingers had pruned from merely cleaning dishes. He shuffles back into the living room, a bit taken aback by how stiff Saeran appeared in his position. He marveled briefly, concern flashing across his face at the sight of Saeran’s cheeks flushed and eyes shifting about shyly, and then he spoke, “Saeran, you okay?”

“I think I’m in love with you…” The words floated in the air, clogging it with a tensity that halfway scared the two of them. Saeran swallows and looks away, mouth still dry and nervousness still prominent. “When I thought about Jun and Hyeon, I realized it- how everything they do is so much like us. How I think about you all the time, and I wonder if you get enough sleep because of me. And I wonder… wonder why you care about me so much… and I… I…”

His voice dies away with the intensity of the room, the pressure weighing on them to do something, say something. Yoosung can’t stand it, resolving to round the couch and stand in front of Saeran, muttering, “Do you mean that?”

“Yes. I do.” Even Saeran is surprised by how quick his response is. He trembles, knees weak as he slowly gets to his feet, now face to face with the man that just about holds his heart in the palm of his hand. 

This time, it is Yoosung’s turn to feel shy, with cheeks erupting in color and violet eyes widening with how close they are. He keeps thinking back on their show, how Hyeon had dragged Jun into a passionate kiss when she confessed to him, and it reminds him of the situation he’s in now. 

The blonde boy gulps, shuffling ever slightly closer, their chests barely brushing against each other. “This is… dangerous…” Dangerous to what, he wasn’t sure of. Perhaps it was the fright of this all being a dream, or maybe it was the possibility of rejection. Or- maybe, the danger came from possibly ruining their friendship, something he cherished so deeply. 

And Saeran seemed to read his mind, sharing every fright and concern that passes through, wondering to himself. Is this the best choice? Should they dare to get closer than this? Should they risk an intimacy that neither could have comprehended before this?

“Well…” Saeran swallows, the dryness of his throat hurting just the slightest bit, reminding him he’s alive, breathing, and feeling. His clammy hands feel suddenly warm, and when he looks down, he realizes that Yoosung is holding them, gently, afraid that being too harsh would deter him. That one feeling is enough to boost his courageousness once more. “A little danger goes a long way…”

It finally happens. 

They finally kiss. 

It’s too short yet a little too long. Shaky and a little sloppy. Saeran’s lips, slightly chapped from the dry winter air, tickles Yoosung slightly and brings him to a cute giggle. When they part, Yoosung leans a bit too far forward, and Saeran loses his balance. The two fall into the matted couch with a weak ‘oof’, entangled in each other and faces much closer than they were used to. 

Yet, instead of choking on words or emotions, they laugh, loudly, with Yoosung burying his head into Saeran’s neck while Saeran rests his head against the couch cushions, somehow finding comfort in the broken springs. 

This couch hadn’t felt more comfortable.


End file.
